Sumithra - The Story of Strength left unsung

It has been a month since we have started practices for Sitayanam and it has been wonderful to see so many Malaysian Sai Women of 5 generations take part in this play that is a tribute to the divine mother come in the form of Sita Devi. 

As the play unfolded and our roles took shape I went deeper into Swamis Rama Katha Rasa Vahini to dwell on the other women who were pillars of strength. It suddenly became very clear to me, that contrary to popular belief the Ramayana was not a story or the heroic might of Lord Sri Rama alone but also a Wonderful Story of So many women of strength. 

Some that I can easily bring out are, Urmilla - who told her husband to leave for the forest and serve his lord with one pointed devotion and for that she would only be a distraction... so she sacrificed and stayed back.

Kaikeyi who According to Baghawan Sri Sathya Sai Baba was fully aware of what was going to happen, but still did it ... played her role with such grace that the world for generations to come believed it so much.

Kausalya whose heart was the ocean of mercy forgave her sister instantly when she knew she had repented and brought her to meet Rama.

Of all these women, the one we do not speak of is Sumithra. 

Who is Sumithra, her name literally means Good Friend to one and all. King Dasharatha married Princess Sumithra because his first wife Kausalya could not give him a son. Soon after marriage the same fate was shared by princess Sumithra and Dasharatha gave it one more shot... He married Kaikeyi who was known to be his Favourite. Dasharatha was smitten by Kaikeyi, she was not only intelligent but a highly acclaimed archer as well as a famed warrior. She practically saved his life in the war where they met. Kausalya and Sumithra seeing that their husband was so in love with this woman actually asked him to marry her. 

This thought has been nudging at my feelings and my mind for such a long time. Were the queens that weak that they just gave in to their husbands whims and fancies or were they that strong and loved him that much that they gave in to it happily.

I've asked myself this question many times. Will I be able to share the man I love with someone else and still love him that much. Sumithras story does not end there. The queens finally give birth and she is blessed with twins. But Alas! both her sons cannot be with her as they are part of Rama and Bharatha. Again she is left with no one.

The only relationship that she would fall back on is her friendship with her Queen sisters. I marvelled at the ability of these queens to live in so much harmony. To love their sons equally. So many times in the book, Kausalya says, I love bharatha even more than I love Rama and Kaikeyi says the same. But Sumithra ... She has no choice but to love from afar. In fact, her payasam became Hanuman, whom she had never met at all …

You see as a friend, you need and you must practice utmost detachment as you have no official rights upon a person. You are forced to love unconditionally because that is the only way that relationship would work. That is the only way you can sustain it. As a friend you have no rights to make demands, no rights to claim ownership, no rights to have what you want when you want it, but.... as much as the sacrifice, so is the love. Because you love without condition, you also receive without condition. You have no official status but you definitely have a huge space in hearts. 

How do I know this, I have experienced it. I experienced this love the day you were born, my princess... It’s so weird that we have not met, but as you prepared to come to this world I was cold and clammy ... I was nervous and waiting ... I’ve never anticipated like this before ( shh.... dont tell anyone but I downed a tequilla shot that night to calm my nerves) I know it’s weird ... I know its unheard off but every moment I waited to see your face I imagined so many... and when I saw you my heart melted ... I needed to calm down and I just could not respond. Don’t ask me how this is possible… I am still trying to figure it out myself… and trust me ive asked so many times I’ve given up.

You might never know me the way I want you to. I am so far away and I have absolutely no claim on you. I will not be there when you cry for comfort, but I will pray every day for your happiness. I will not be there when you fall but I will surely one day be able to tell you that every fall makes you a stronger woman. I might not be there to correct you every time you go down an unwanted path, but I will share with you with all the gory details my life and how I’ve tried those paths too. I might not be there to hear all your stories but I promise I will be the guardian of your secrets if you tell them to me. I would not be there the comb your hair everyday... But I sure as hell will take you shopping and get you your first manicure (please wait for me) 

To you my princess.. I will gift the art of being a friend. I will bless you with the gift of an unconditionally loving heart, because my love ... it is the best type of Love anyone can ever have. People will question you… how can you love like this… aren’t you afraid? I cannot reciprocate … But you will know

It will make you so strong that you will feel allot less pain, and even when you do, you will know that pain is worth it.

It will make you so confident because to love someone as unconditionally as true friendship does, you first need to love yourself. You will be a shining example to all around you because you will know instinctively that the Best friendship is the type that you have with Sai. This will be your pillar and long after all of us are gone… you will still have HIM.

And while the world with its clichés might label themselves in different ways, while your friends might be influenced by all around them, you will be strong with firm faith that all you need is to love Your Best Friend unconditionally and He will always protect you like the eyelids protect the eye.

This…my baby is my blessings to you. I love you so much.

Your Friend,

Roshini