All of Me and All of You - Part 1 ( Bramhapureshwaram) 


The first half of the trip was over. It was no surprise that it was perfect in every single way... You made your presence felt in every moment, through every person, even the wind and the breeze caressed my skin like you were gently hugging me and saying... there are no more boundaries... I enjoyed our morning walks together, thanks for breakfast at the south Indian canteen :) thank you for the flowers in my hair... making me feel bridal everyday...In your father's home you are indeed a princess. The dharshans where you faithfully came every  single day in you blood red robe... funny how I'd never seen you wearing it physically. Although the learning was great, your love was greater ...

The life changing experiences perhaps for once did not happen in your abode of highest peace but in your other homes, it was clear that you were showing me to see you really everywhere and in everyone, in some more specifically than in others. It is indeed true that you never deny although you sometimes or in my case so many times you only delay.

It has been 3 years since I had been awaiting a glimpse of your majestic beauty lying on the great serpent Adishesha in bliss while maintaining the delicate intricacies of the universe that you pervade. This form had intrigued me ever since i learnt the mantra :-

" Shaantakaaram Bujagha Shayanam
  Pathmanabam Suresham
  Vishvadharam Gagana sadhrsham
  Meghavarnam shubhangam

  Laxmikaantam Kamala Nayanam
  Yoghibir dnyanagamyam
  Vande Vishnum Bhavabhayaharam
  Sarva lokaike Natham"


The description of that mantra was so superb that it was etched in my mind since the age of 9 when i first learnt it. It was a dream to see you like that and when i heard about your abode in Sriranggam, my heart was set on it.

Which better instrument would you choose to fulfill this dream of mine other than someone who personified your many facets, okie.. maybe not all but i would give him 80 % not because he does not have the other 20 but because he would refuse to acknowledge it, which is again the humility you possess in play. In walked Sathya Narayan :) who took me to Narayana ... and this is the story of our journey ...

The morning got of the an incredibly pleasant start  :) it was indeed a warm and fuzzy feeling all around almost like I was awakened by a nice warm hug and not to mention a nice hot coffee by the coffee goddess. After packing our stuff we were off, as we drove down the roads from Manapakam i told him how the roads around this place have started feeling not like home but not foreign to me anymore.It was almost extremely familiar. It did not feel like i had to acclimatize to the environment. As usual our drive itself was divine, we listened to our best friend talk about the x files of Ramayana and it was wonderful to really catch up without any gadgets in between us. I felt like i was again a kid and the whole world was just outside that car. The mist that morning was soooo thick it was like we were in London or something.

It had been a week since we had been home and as much as i loved Indian food i was craving for an itsy bitsy taste of home, but somewhere in the middle of no where in Tamil Nadu it was only wishful thinking to hope for something Malaysian. we stopped for breakfast at this quaint little shop somewhere after a toll gate. As we walked in apprehensively we saw behind the counter a picture of none other than our main man ! The DoN. We figured this was going to be a good place.I placed and order of ponggal and coffee and to my utter surprise, the ponggal had "lengkuas" in it.. I mean what are the odds. I totally enjoyed every bit of it and enjoyed the company more than anything.

We journeyed on and our first stop was Bramhapureshwar. It was one of the few temples of Bramha. U see after listening to Ammey, i was all out to making good jokes about Brahma , on top of that it was totally cool to believe that no one can change my fate apart from Swami and Me... all this chatter was going on in my head, and all this noise was just annoying me... Honestly do I want my fate changed?, I don't know... I want what he wanted too. I wanted the same things he did, the same reasons but to think that me asking Swami to change my fate was amounting to questioning my faith in him was just too much to handle. Hence i was my usual noisy and chatty self. Before we stepped into the temple , he looked at me sternly and said, " We are only here for you, dont joke... just pray" The love in his voice just quieted me. If he wanted it for me so much, I would not mind asking Swami to change my fate. Change it to what makes him happy which i wont lie would make me happy too.

As we walked into the temple a huge sense of peace just settled on me and even if i wanted to talk i could not. The atmosphere was so thick with energy that the stark difference between the before and the after was just incredible it quieted all the chatter in my head just like that. from the ceilings of the temple rays of sunlight came pouring in almost like it was a portal to the heavens. Was this indeed Brahmaloka? Where was He i needed to seee him. After seeing Shiva we were shown where Brahma was. Standing in front of him all i could say was "I'm sorry... I'm so sorry....I'm really so silly " He replied with love " You are just a reflection of me , we are alike you and me, using our head so much..."

He speaks I thought, I prayed that i would indeed find that person i am looking for and I may not tell the world but it was a sincere prayer. It would make me and so many people happy.But somehow in the presence of such great energy it seemed almost silly to pray for something this trivial, almost like what swami says about asking coffee powder to the kalpa vriksha. We circled the temple and settled at the feet of the shivalinga and chanted the Sri Rudram, in his company, chanting the Rudram is such a pleasure.. not a chore.

I needed to soak up as much of this wonderful energy as possible. I decided to just be still  and sit for a while, and while I was in the silence i heard his voice again ... You know it is Him when it is Him, he said, You and I are the same, the creativity in you is me and the power to create your own reality is indeed in you. Trust this... Know this... His words were so comforting and full of Love that you knew it was none other than the truth.Weather i believed it or not, I don't know, but its reflection showed clearly in the courage and the confidence I returned to Malaysia with.

I had to force myself out of the silence and as i walked to sit next to Sathya in that sunlight everyone looked Godly, almost ethereal in nature. As i sat in the sunlight he looked at me and said , look Bramha's light in on you, nothing can go wrong now. I was like a cup over pouring with love and joy that every word threatened to turn into a tear.

We then went on a lingam hunt and like children we explored each tiny temple that housed a different linggam, honest to God they all looked the same to me but to see the joy on his face explaining the lingams was more fulfilling than seeing the linggam itself. at that point i missed his Malaysian twin. Like i told the coffee goddess it sometimes or most of the time is not the deity or idol that invokes the devotion and love within me but the immense love and devotion of his devotees like these two that entraps me in HIS love.

We left Bramha to move to the next aspect of the trinity but that is a story for another post...

The Lingam Hunter - What better obsession than this :)