Virgo - The Tactical Planner 


A very close friend of mine recently sent me a evaluation of the relationship between the Virgo and Aries
 ( Why?  refer to post earlier :)) Let me share a part of the evaluation on what it says about the supposed qualities of the Virgo

Virgo, on the other hand, are gentle, shy, and work
Virgo could teach the Aries about the importance of patience and
attention to detail
A Virgo, a tactician, tends to evaluate everything
and work out the details before performing any action

I look at this evaluation and I think seriously is that me? Did my parents get my date of birth wrong or something? In fact i sometimes think the evaluation of us is pretty inverted, while i am the totally rash and passionate lets jump onto this and sort it out soon just because it feels right, he is the type of person who sits back and evaluates his options. 

Nevertheless a Eureka moment related to this happen yesterday and I was tempted to put it into words before i forget the lesson. let me give you a little back ground to the issue just so that we understand better.

You see in the typical life of a 30 something gal in Malaysia ... the typical Eat Meet Brood Breed and DIE type of Malaysian Gal .. Which I SO dont want to be but am constantly tempted to flow with, there are 2 options in life .... ( this is true ... if you don't believe check every chick flick available in the market... and no i do not agree that chick flicks are not reliable sources of information, its advocated in the media, hence people in general believe in it and make it a reality)  So yeah if we see that then there are 2 paths a 30 something girl can choose at this cross road.

1. Get married - have a family - Focus you entire energy on the family kid ect. ect.

Perks

• If you totally score, you dont need to work ... HURRAAAYYYY !!! 
• You can stay at home focus on having a lovely family , practice Swamis teachings bring a beautiful life into the world and contribute wonderful human beings to society 
• Manage your own time 
• Not really worry about finances because the man of the house focuses on it
• OMG!!  not worry about cars ...
• You can be free to pursue all you freelance dreams of photography , training, writing

Pitt falls 

• You actually cease to have a life 
• You obtain a new boss - its called THE BABY 
• You listen to Barney and Dido or Lido oh no its TIBO isnt it or watch Baby TV more than anything else 
• Your ride smells of a combination of puke and milk - unless u have leather seats ... 
• You are free to pursue your dreams but managing your own time was but an illusion because there suddenly is no time to manage between house chores, babies , cooking, groceries blah blah blah i dunno ....

2. Option 2  - Incredibly Successful Hot Chick 

Perks 

• You are totally HOT because you are soo in control of your life 
• You have your own chick pad
• U drive an awesome car 
• You only carry and wear designer or close to designer 
• You do what you want when you want it 
• Your time is your own 

Pitt Falls 

• Living Up To The Above 

So coming back... since option One seems far off into the Horizon, I currently am in path 2. So being the good socially conditioned girl that I am, I have like every other 30 something single gals minus the lucky Bitches who have it handed to them ( u know like the ones that eat like pigs and have a size 8 still) yeah minus them ... i have been working towards the above. 

2 of the biggest material things that i have been thinking about is The  Car and a piece of Property. So yesterday because i am without training for the last 3 days i started the process of looking out for an apartment. I got onto the property websites and after 2 hours of looking I was convinced i was in love 

I saw it, i started imagining our future together and it was beautiful, surrounded by lush gardens in the prime area close to malls, I even had friends living there... heck i even put furniture into this lil appartment of my dreams and custom made my alter... after 1 more hour I had imagined our life together ... me and this apartment were meant to be together ... I had found the one and I just Knew it ! and I HAD TO TELL SOMEONE !! 

I called Dr.S... This was our conversation 

" Dr. S can you talk "

" U have 2 minutes.... im studying" Mean guy 

"I think i found it !!!! i found the place i want to buy !!!" 

" OM SAI RAM..where when how????."

"Just i just saw it online ! "

" OKieeeeeeee.... Rosh listen to yourself ... You SAW IT ONLINE "

--------the conversation went on but ... that was the moment... the type in Tamil movies where the waves stop ... the birds freeze in mid air ... coconut trees stop moving ... and there is silence..." -------------------------

I went to sleep thinking, Is this the way i make decisions?

Have I always done things this way ?

and i saw the pattern ... remember Shiv 

-> i went out with him 3 times 

-> saw his sparkly eyes 

-> decided he was the one and imagined the whole happily ever after 

-> no evaluation needed and anything that he did not have was okie because 

Like Liz Gilbert says in her book ... once I love you u can have it all ... my money my house, my dog, my dog's money .... 

I become soo attached to the idea of you that knowing you does not become important because no matter who you are or in this case what you are id LOVE you because i chose you. You can be tiny ... you can be in a jam infested area u can be anything ... id make excuses for you and id love you still just because i set eyes on you first... and even if the world criticizes you and you continuously hurt me ... ignore me or cost me a fortune ( like my car) ... i hold on to you because ... i love you ! 

I suddenly became very afraid... OMG now suddenly i have more things to think about ... down payment ... loan repayment ... ect ect... it felt like I already own this house i had not even seen physically ... I slepts extremely tired from just the thought process and fear. 

I did not even want to wake up this morning ... yes i know silly ... but i had to and as i had my shower ... I heard him... you know its him when its that clear ... I wonder why can the have spoke earlier but i think he was waiting to kill 2 birds with one stone after all Sathya Sai only Speaks at the right moment when you are ready to receive...

He said 

" Why do you need to decide now?" 

I had no answer... " Swami.... everyone has got one d....." I I say this i think OMG same dialogue that i used when we speak of marriage and career and everything else which is a challenge for me

He answers in one word ...

"EXACTLY! .... You have no need to hurry ... y hurry?" 

And then that familiar feeling of ... He Has Spoken .... where you just want to be quiet and enjoy the lingering presence ... 

So yes .... I have learnt my lesson i need to be the tactical thinking Virgo that i was meant to be... maybe this going against my nature is what is hurting me so much... and if you are reading this...IT IS YOUR SOLEMN DUTY AS MY CLOSE FRIEND to remind me constantly of the same !!